I need a gang of invisible sidekicks who will follow me around everywhere. Hopefully their leader will be called Maceo. When I am in the middle of a boring conversation that I can’t escape, I’ll just yell “Maceo! To the bridge!” and they’ll start to play a bunch of nasty funk so loud that no one can talk. It would be even better if whoever was around was compelled to dance to the funk all goofy-like, but that’s just crazy talk.
Archive for September, 2006
I think my mind is trying to tell me something.
Published by September 14th, 2006 in Uncategorized. 0 CommentsI had another dream about Argentina the other night. It was the middle of the day, and I was looking for some pastries or croissants, as I often did because they are so delicious and cheap there. Every storefront was an inviting, wholesome cafe or bakery, and there were even more pastry stands in the middle of the street. Behind every counter was a smiling, attentive baker, but I was the only non-worker in sight as I paced from one block to another. I could have any sweets that I wanted, but there was no possibility of sharing them with anyone. “This is exactly what’s wrong with my life right now,” I remember thinking.
“Googlism” gauges what the general consensus of the internet is about different topics by displaying the results of the search “[topic] is” in Google. I was delighted to find that my first name is their first example search and ecstatic that the title of this post was the first result returned. Of course I am only reinforcing its position at the top by adding the phrase to my own site. Here are the top fifteen things the internet has to say about me:
joe is my interactive bra
joe is love
joe is coming
joe is back
joe is a legendary coffee
joe is very sick
joe is rather unhappy with
joe is part of
joe is on the loose
joe is a good man
joe is the hottest man alive
joe is rad
joe is first to pass sun’s compatibility test suite for
joe is appearing with his own band
joe is so getting laid tonight
joe is interrogated at the police station
Try it out on your own name.
