Published by Joe Bolte December 27th, 2005
in Uncategorized.
My updates are mostly complete, but I’m still having fun adding features to the site. The header image is fixed, comments again work, and I added a gravatar display feature to the site, so that if you leave a comment and have a gravatar, it will show up in the comments section. I am waiting for mine to be approved, and you should get a gravatar too.
Soon, I am going to categorize all the posts I have written on the blog, so that you can see a breakdown of what kinds of thoughts that occupy my mind writing the most.
But now for a walk in the evening sun.
Published by Joe Bolte December 20th, 2005
in Uncategorized.
I was ecstatic to receive this reply in my inbox yesterday. It looks like I am searching for work even in my sleep! Of course, this is in response to the letter I sent Wolfram, and posted here.
From: Wolfram Research ******@wolfram.com
Date: Dec 19, 2005 8:59 AM
Subject: [SWCOR #118408] a terrible dream that affects us all
To: Joe Bolte
Dear Mr. Bolte:
Thank you for your somewhat unusual email to Stephen Wolfram.
As a person responsible for processing quite a bit of Dr. Wolfram’s email, I thought I had seen it all. But your email added some new and different dimensions.
Rest assured that we have no plans for any operation of the kind you describe, though of course Mathematica is certainly now in use in Iraq.
And Dr. Wolfram has been interested in Arabic art (see e.g. http://www.wolframscience.com/nksonline/page-874) … though not in tourist attractions related to this…
Yours sincerely,
[Name redacted]
Wolfram Science Group
http://www.wolframscience.com
P.S. Looking you up I find http://joebolte.com/bolte-resume.pdf … and given your evident creativity (at least while asleep), perhaps you should try sending something to http://www.wolfram.com/opportunities
Published by Joe Bolte December 14th, 2005
in Uncategorized.
This post is brought to you by Pancho Hot, the hot dog with the forgettable taste and the unforgettable name.
Can you think of a phrase that is in common use in an English speaking country, which seems to be from a foreign language, but actually makes no sense in the mother tongue? I have one (Thanks Jena) but I have thought about it for a while and I know there have to be more.
This post would be a good time to tell you that I havenīt actually disabled commenting as some people thought. You just have to click on the name of the post, or the number beside it, which is the number of comments on the post so far and scroll down to the comments area. Have fun!
Update: I can’t believe you didn’t get “No problemo”!
Published by Joe Bolte December 14th, 2005
in Uncategorized.
Sorry ladies, I am talking about my iBook, which has been giving me no end of trouble and expense lately. For about three months now, the power cable has been wearing away right beside the the plug that connects to the iBook. IFor three months, I literally thought that the cable was going to break the next time I touched it. Then one day I was in the middle of an email, the battery ran out, and there was no way to turn it back on. Luckily I live about a block and a half from the Argentine Apple reseller, so I took it to them. They said it was 30 pesos to repair the thing, which seemed reasonable for one non-standard plug and an hour of soldering. But, they called back to say that the transformer itself was also broken, and that they would have to replace another proprietary part for total cost of 110 pesos. Apple, I love you for making hardware and software that work so well, but I hate you for completely unnecessarily using non-standard hardware for plugs and connectors, since they donīt add anything to the user experience, and make it impossible for me to fix on my own, and expensive to have Apple Certified Technicians, or whatever you call them, do it.
The night after I got my computer back, I was just starting to get caught up, when the display froze with some horizontal lines, and wouldnīt restart with any video. I have seen this before. The logic board has gone bad, again, after it failed last year and I sent it to Apple for repair. Luckily, Apple covers the defect beyond the warranty for free, but unluckily they make you send the Computer to Texas, so they can do it there. I donīt know how long it takes to mail a ten-pound package from Argentina to Texas and back, but itīs a lot longer than I want to wait, escpecially since I am forced to Microsoft Windows, which is easily the largest engineering failure in the history of the human race. I have had Windows computers freeze up on me literally every single time I have used since the problem with my power adaptor, on four different computers, in four different computer labs! How can something so popular possibly suck so badly? Well, I know, but my time is running out, so youīll have to stay tuned to my next post to find out.
Published by Joe Bolte December 8th, 2005
in Uncategorized.
Oh, man! WV is just tearing up the media lately. Or should that be cracking up? In other news, makers of cultural literacy dictionaries have found a new picture to accompany the entry for “slippery slope”.
In other, other news, Five Deer Leap to their Deaths in Charles Town. This article contains a couple of gems. First there’s the phrase “For reasons that mystify authorities.” Who are the authorities on why deer might leap to their deaths? And why are they so mystified when this should case should be their finest hour? I guess we’ll never know, since “the carcasses were handed out to passers-by for butchering.” I wonder how many people had to walk by before the cops found the butchering capacity for five deer. Less than ten is my guess.
This also reminds me of a pet-peeve that I though I had escaped by moving a continent away. Why do people abbreviate West Virginia as “W.Va.”? What’s wrong with WV, just like you abbreviate every other state’s name? When you are driving to Morgantown, there is even an exit sign that says “Univ. of W. Va.” even though there is no such thing. What gives?
Published by Joe Bolte December 7th, 2005
in Uncategorized.
You always liked to talk about how life was a series of disappointments and hostile to the humans who lived it, even while you were comfortable at school doing things you knew you were good at, and didn’t have to worry about providing for yourself. Now times are tough, you do have to worry about those things, and your cheerful fatalism seems a little naive, doesn’t it? Well, remember what you always said when those things came up and you were oh-so-eager to share your insight: you’ll always end up hating life if you think it’s about being rewarded for your hard work or outstanding talents, because you usually won’t be. If you’re going to see life for what it is, without any illusions, and still want to go on living it for its own sake, you have to live to appreciate what’s beatuiful, especially in the way that hideously ugly things are beautiful. That means the ugliness of people angry over a misunderstanding, missed oppurunities because you’re too scared or lazy, worrying about having enough money just to go out at night, and all of that. That’s what you told yourself most of life was, and that’s what you see it is now. So remember your own advice, now that it’s going to do you some good.
Love,
Yourself
Published by Joe Bolte December 3rd, 2005
in Uncategorized.
From: W. Joseph Bolte *****@gmail.com
Subject: a terrible dream that affects us all
Date: December 3, 2005 5:46:19 PM GMT-03:00
To: Stephen Wolfram *****@wolfram.com
Dear Mr. Wolfram,
My sleep was recently disturbed by a dream in which your company, Wolfram Research, played a very prominent, curious, and ultimately disturbing role. I don’t know if this was a vision of the present or the future, or a sign that I use Mathematica way too much, but the danger seems so great that I am compelled to write you.
In the dream, I was climbing a hill in Southeastern Iraq with a very good friend. The hill was desolately beautiful, and I remember that I could see the intricate patterns of the clouds more clearly than usual. There were some native Iraqis going in the same direction, and they looked exactly like the ones in the last issue of National Geographic that I read. At the top of the hill was the entrance to an enormous compound with a large sculpture of the Mathematica icon directly in front. According to my dream, Wolfram Research had set up a camp there to study some archaeological finds that displayed a knowledge of math that was far in advance of the level previously supposed for the time period that the ruins were dated. They were giving tours of the dig, so we went right in. Sure enough, in the first room was a wall of tiles that demonstrated the Fibonacci sequence! Amazing!
As we continued through the complex, I started to notice a large number of American tourists wandering around. Surely they couldn’t all be members of your research team; there were just too many of them. I also noticed that as we got further away from the entrance, the archaeological finds were illuminated more and more by tacky neon lights. If you have ever been to Las Vegas or Myrtle Beach, you will know exactly what I talking about. Something was very curious here. It soon became clear to me that the archaeological dig was merely a front for some kind of luxury resort that was using ancient Arabic ruins as attractions. My suspicion was confirmed when we came up a palace, again lit with neon lights, that strongly resembled the Taj Mahal.
With or without your knowledge, someone had been mis-appropriating Arabic cultural treasures, installing tacky lights in them, and using them as tourist attractions! I hope I don’t need to emphasize what a disaster it would be if word reached the general public about such an activity. The anger against any responsible parties would almost surely ignite a terrible wave of violence. I beg you, for the safety and prosperity of Wolfram Research, our nation and the world - if you have any plans to establish a base in Iraq, even a math-themed one, please cancel these plans right away.
Sincerely,
Joe Bolte
